breakups · life & love · love · relationships · self care · self love · wisdom

Falling in Love, Falling in Passion, and Knowing the Difference.

Love is compromise. Love is gentle understanding. Love is lots of 7s, 8s and 9s.
Passion is hot and steamy. Passion is impromptu trips around the world. Passion is 10s and 1s.

Love is patience and kindness. Love is comfortable silence.

Passion is mind blowing sex. Passion is fancy dinners at the hottest restaurants, followed by drunken arguments at the wee hours of the morning.
I recently read an article that discussed Jennifer Lopez’s new book True Love, and her many high-profile relationships. She expanded upon how she mistook passion for love in the most simplistic, yet real way:
“But passion is a pendulum that swings both ways. As beautiful as it can be it can also get very intense. Yet, through thick and thin, I chose to stay in those relationships. Because how can you turn your back on a love so big, so amazing, so real? The problem is, it wasn’t real love; it was passion. I just didn’t know the difference yet.”
In recent years, I have most certainly found myself in relationships where I’ve confused passion for love. It has taken a certain level of maturity and self-discovery for me to realize what actually matters to me. Are the grand gestures, fancy vacations and presents wonderful? Sure, they bring a sense of instant gratification. “Wow! Look how much he loves me! Look what he bought me. Look where he’s taking me.” Yet those very types of relationships also left me feeling, at times, “I can’t believe he called me those names. I can’t believe he lost his temper like that. Did he really mean what he said during that fight?”

It’s only now that I’m able to see things from a clear perspective. And you know what? I’ll take the respect. I’ll take the kindness, the compassion and gentleness. Give me your loyalty. Give me your most genuine and vulnerable heart. You can keep the rest.   

What about you out there? Have you ever found yourself in a relationship full of passion and lacking in love? Perhaps the opposite? Let me hear from you!

XO,
Jenn

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