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In life, there is always an abundance of things we cannot control. Yet for reasons I cannot determine, we spend an exurbanite amount of time worrying about them. The thing is, it all begins and ends in our minds. Whatever we give power to, has power over us. Only if we allow it.
Below are a few areas I’ve identified through my own life experiences that simply do not warrant worrying over:
1. What other people think about you. You could be the juiciest peach in the world, and there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches. Each person you encounter will have different values, different standards of what they deem acceptable and appropriate. That’s what makes the world go round. Relinquish worrying about what others think of your choices, your lifestyle, and what stimulates your heart and mind. Live a life you’re proud of – be good, do good, and make no excuses.
2. The number of candles on your birthday cake. In a time when everyone is buying the latest wrinkle-reducing cream, rushing out for more botox, and jumping on the latest juice fast trend, it’s important we strike a balance between taking pride in our appearance and embracing the aging process. After all, getting older is better than the alternative! As a woman who is a month away from turning 31, I can’t get on Huffington Post or some beauty and lifestyle blog without reading articles about women having damn near panic attacks about turning 30. It doesn’t have to be that way! Eat clean, work out often, and take care of yourself. It IS possible to age gracefully. Rather than obsess over the number, re-shift your focus to all of the invaluable wisdom only the blessing of time can provide.
3. What other folks are doing. True friends are happy when their friends happy. Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle, or find yourself sitting on the sidelines of your own life just to be a spectator in others. Social media can be fun, but don’t spend so much of your time trolling LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest that your own life passes you by. Our time here is short and precious, so maximize it rather than wasting it away.
4. If things aren’t going “according to plan.” As a Type-A, goal-oriented individual, this is a challenging one for me. Setting goals and accomplishing them is such a gratifying feeling – I love figuring out what I want out of life and going for it. Yet, sometimes I need to acknowledge that things are simply out of my control. I find it so frustrating to want something so badly but feel incapable of accomplishing it. But I’ve realized that while it’s fantastic to have goals that navigate us through life, it’s counterproductive to cling so tightly to them that we completely miss the here and now. Keep writing those goals down, just be sure to adjust accordingly. Because one of the only constants in life is change. And chances are, what lies ahead of us is even sweeter, even more gratifying, than what we ever imagined for ourselves.
5. Your relationship status. Aye yay yay. Relationship woes! This one is a doozy. Will they call? Are they interested? Do I miss them when they’re not around? Where is this going? Are we exclusive? Is it too soon to ask? I could keep that list going, but for the sake of time I’ll spare you. Here’s the deal. They’ll call if they want to call. They’ll see you if they want to see you. If they’re into you, you’ll know it. And vice versa! Good things take time, and evolve in a natural way. Great things happen unexpectedly. I love the quote by Gloria Steinem that says “Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.” AMEN! Admittedly the first year after my divorce I found myself completely panicked – completely terrified of being single again. Shit, the last time I was single we didn’t have texting, let alone sexting. Social media was far less prevalent and the notion of instant gratification didn’t exist like it does today. But over the past few years, as I’ve really spent time figuring out the woman I am and the life I want, I’ve realized I’m not scared anymore. Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are far too many mediocre things in life, and love sure as shit shouldn’t be one of them. So quit worrying about your relationship status once and for all. If it’s true that like attracts like, concentrate on being the person you’d want to fall in love with. Embody the traits you admire – for me, its being honest, loyal, loving, affectionate, genuine, kind, and respectful. I work on myself every.single.day. And I, with my whole heart, believe this will make me the best version of myself for the person who deserves it the most.
What about you? What do you worry about?