dating · life & love · long distance relationships · love · relationships · self love · wisdom

How Do You Know Your Partner Is THE ONE?

I recently stumbled upon such a thought-provoking article from A Cup of Jo – if you’re looking for a neat blog that covers topics ranging from food, fashion, relationships and more, you must check out Joanna!

The article, How Do You Know Your Partner Is the One, surveyed folks on the age old question – How did you know he/she was the ONE? Immediately after reading the article, I began reflecting upon my own relationship. Despite having met my boyfriend a few times over the past few years, the timing was never right. We had both been dating others and we lived on opposite ends of the country. However, when our mutual friends re-introduced us last year things were different. I was different. My wants and needs were different. I was finishing up a long fitness competition prep, I had recently bought a home and was in the midst of renovation, and more than anything – I finally felt like I had become the person that the person I was looking for was looking for.

At the risk of sounding cliche, everything changed when I began dating Ken. He is quite literally one of the most wonderful human beings I have ever known. He’s kind and patient when I need it most. He takes control and leads the way when I’m lost. He treats me like a partner and a priority, eliminating any doubt that could have easily crept in as we embarked upon a loooong distance relationship. With all that said, and with Jo’s article in mind, there are still more than a handful of other reasons I know I’ve met the one.

His happiness is mine. Is he having a good day? Ohhhh, look! M&MS. He loves M&Ms. I should buy these for him. A new superhero movie is opening this weekend. I better buy us tickets before it’s sold out! I can’t wait to hear how he crushed a workout or how well he played golf. Seeing his smile in person, over FaceTime and hearing it on the phone all brighten my day and bring my heart happiness.

Home is no longer a place. Home is with him. Sometimes we’re spending weekends in Atlanta. Other times we’re spending weeks or a month on end in California. We’ve done a weekend in Vegas and we’re going to Hawaii next month for my birthday. The common denominator in all of those places is US. Our relationship has taught me that I don’t really care where I live (so long as there’s a Lulu and Whole Foods within driving distance – DUH!) so long as we are by each other’s side.

I’m softer and sweeter. Let’s not forget – I’m a born and raised spitfire Jewish girl from NYC. Where I grew up, we took public transportation. We cursed. We spit our gum out in the middle of the street while walking to the neighborhood 7 Eleven to buy slurpees and play handball. And while you can take the girl out of New York, you can’t always take New York out of the girl. I’m still short tempered (despite my best efforts) and a bit feisty. I don’t do small talk and I rarely smile at strangers. Since Ken came into my life, I’ve become…. softer. I’ve become sweeter. I’m not even sure when it happened – maybe slowly, maybe all at once. But all I know is I wish people a nice day, I smile at strangers and I wave cars in while I’m stopped at street lights. I don’t preemptively hang up on customer service representatives and I’m just a much more patient and understanding human being.

I miss him from the other room. Literally. As soon as he leaves the room, I miss him.

I see our future. No, not in the weird fortune teller way. But I see it. While I feel zero pressure to start a family right now, I can’t help but completely swoon when I watch him – sometimes he’s wiping off Lucy’s paws from a walk… other times he’s laying on the floor playing with his nephew or holding a friend’s baby. Sometimes he’s just shaving in the bathroom mirror – and I can’t help but smile at the idea of him teaching our son how to shave (or letting or daughter slather his face with shaving cream!). When I look at him, I see a whole life ahead.

I have zero doubts. Our distance has never made me doubt the fate of our relationship. I don’t lay in bed wondering how I really, truly feel. I don’t wonder if I could see myself as a member of his family or him in mine. I don’t question whether he’ll be the strong husband I want or a loving father to our children. I don’t fear that one single disagreement or argument will end our relationship. My heart is still and my mind feels at peace.

And this peaceful feeling is how I know. How I know I’ve met my person. 


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