dating · life & love · long distance relationships · love · relationships · self love · self-discovery

Love & Relationships: A Man’s Perspective

When I set out to create a blog nearly two years ago, my hope was to build a platform that explored all aspects of love and relationships in a true and honest way. And while part of me feels we’ve been able to accomplish this goal, I’ve only been able to share a woman’s perspective. Until now!

Today happens to be the eve of Ken’s birthday – and I thought what better way to get a little lovey dovey than to talk love and relationships!

I asked him some questions and because he’s the greatest, he kindly abliged. And because we all know how much I just love to chime in, I’ve left my own answers below his (which he has yet to read)!

So let’s get into it with the soon-to-be-birthday-boy!

1) Has being in a relationship changed you? If so, how?

K: It would be hard for anyone to say a relationship doesn’t change them. It has definitely changed for the better…but not really because of anything I have done…its how my partner has changed me. She just makes everything easier. Whether is taking the stress load and letting me vent…making fun decision on when our next trip is…or even what to eat… Jenn just makes all those things more fun and just being able to share that makes me very happy.

I think it’s easy to become overly self-sufficient when you’ve been single long enough. I was accustomed to doing things for myself and inadvertantly built all sorts of walls. Fairly early on into our relationship, I just knew something was different. Falling in love with Ken has facilitated self-change in a way I never imagined. I’ve become a bit sweeter, a bit softer and for the first time in a very very long time, I’ve embraced my own vulnerability in a way I never thought I’d be able to. I honestly think the only reason that’s been possible is because of how safe he makes me feel. 

2) What’s the best part about being in a relationship?

K: Only one thing? That’s hard. Going back to question 1…just being able to share life experiences with someone has been amazing. Going to bed and waking up with that person is pretty special.

With him, life is just better. Nothing is scary anymore. Knowing I have him in my corner makes me feel at ease. He’s the greatest support and the best friend. Living life together is just the ultimate – and I can’t wait for everything that’s waiting ahead for us.

3) No one’s perfect. If you could wave a magic wand and change something about me, what would it be? (Honesty – not brutal honesty – is sincerely appreciated!)

K: Jenn can be impatient when dealing with people she doesn’t have any ties to…like talking to customer service! I just have to quietly remind her that someone is trying to do their job, and kindness never hurt nobody!

I can’t argue with him on that one. Patience is a virtue and it’s quality I’m always working to improve. If I did have that magic wand… hmm. I’d make him able to fall asleep without the tv on! #firstworldproblems

4) You’re the quintessential Cali boy. You own more flip flops and tank tops than I do! What’s been the biggest eye-opener/adjustment falling in love with a Queens, NY girl?

K: Having to constantly remind her that its totally ok going casual to a dinner!

He has more flip flops and tank tops than I do! But I’d say the biggest adjustment is embracing the laid-back west coast lifestyle. It still weirds me out to no end seeing people walk down the street (and sometimes in restaurants!) with no shoes on. Do that in Queens and you’ll end up with a staph infection.

5) Following up from the above, what do you think is more important – sharing the same personality traits, hobbies/interests, core values or a combination of all of the above?

K: Its always going to be a combo. There is no right recipe to what’s more important and what makes things work.

I think mututal hobbies are a nice to have while shared values are a have to have. We both love working out. We both share an intense passion for traveling the world. He loves T Swift and I have an affinity towards Brett Eldridge, Ron Pope and Ray LaMontagne. He’s always super friendly and I can be reserved. Yet we both cherish our friends and family, want a family of our own and never shy away from hard work. We’re not the same – but we balance each other out where it matters while still maintaining our own indentity. 

6) Relationships aren’t always rainbows and unicorns. Any advice on how to come out stronger after a disagreement/argument?

K: Never ever go to sleep angry. Work it out…when talking to each other…try your best not to raise your voice.

I’m a self-confessed hot head, so I think coming from a place of love and respect is key. Words cannot be taken back (or un-heard) so truly think about what you say before you say it. This is the person you love above all else, so treat them that way. And don’t keep score. It doesn’t matter who was wrong or right. You’re a team. 

7) Sometimes the smallest moments are actually the most meaningful. When do you just sit back and think to yourself “yeah, this is what life is all about!”?

K: Every morning sharing a coffee with you!

When we’re walking through our neighborhood with Lucy, our King Charles Cavalier. Ken will wrap his arm around me or reach for my hand… I’ll look down at Lucy wagging her tail and feel a sea of gratitude rush over me. I love our little family!

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Any other relationship tips?? Please share!

XO,

Jenn

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